As Italy teeters on the brink of financial ruin, a new opportunity has arisen for you to act as irresponsibly as the man whose irrepressible penis led them there: Bunga Bunga, soft-open today in Battersea. This monument to Berlusconi's Berlusconi-ness includes a huge, chandelier'd, brass-rail staircase painted like the Sistine Chapel, and a main space with polished wood floors, a gondola-shaped bar, and Vespa-helmet light-fixtures that will in no way protect the Repubblica in the event of a crash.
The booze, which comes in mugs made to look like Il Cavaliere's own mug, includes the eponymous house drink (gin, Martini Fiero, crushed black pepper, grapefruit), the vodka/ginger liqueur Italian Job, and sharers like the 3-person Horses Head, whose Gentleman Jack, dessert wine, apple liqueur & cranberry are actually served in a porcelain, bloodied horses head -- fitting, as the drink it holds will have patrons acting just like Johnny Fontane (badly). In lieu of palm-wafting servants dropping grapes in your mouth, gluttony's sated by wood-fired sourdough pizzas named for infamous Bunga Bunga girls, like the Ruby Loves (cherry toms & spicy soft 'Nduja sausage), and the prosciutto/orange Hurricane Aida; the whole menu's also available as a stacked "Leaning Tower of Pizza", so if you finish it alone, you too can become a legendarily huge mistake.
For Continental entertainment, they've dedicated part of their upper floor to Eurovision karaoke, slapping flags from every participating country on the walls, and giving some of the winning songs their own booze combo, including gin, passion fruit & apple liqueur for the UK's "Making Your Mind Up" -- fitting in a bar named after a man who still acts like a young buck even though his ardor should've long ago fizzled out.