Because the coolest way to answer being challenged to a duel is "pianos at dusk", hit Howl At The Moon, a just-opening, live-music-meets-karaoke joint that, like Jim McMahon, started in Chi-town and made country-spanning stops before landing in MN as a grizzled vet. Instead of wobbly non-spirals, though, they'll sling neon drinks from a massive rectangular bar, and will host a stable of "versatile and talented musicians" on a spot-lit, ornately carved stage sporting two black baby grands. As you probably have concerns besides "where is poor Jim McMahon these days?", get filled in below
The last time I went to a piano bar it consisted of an old man that smelled like garlic and only played the theme from Charade... Worry not, friend, the folks at Howl say that, like KS95, they'll perform your favorite songs from the '70s, '80s, '90s, and today", covering artists from Billy Joel to Lady Gaga, which marks the first time that anyone has been able to cover the singer who refuses to wear pants
I'm kind of a fan of karaoke... They got it
I kind of hate listening to other fans of karaoke... No worries, the performers rock some numbers sans audience participation, so just sit back and enjoy a cocktail
What about cocktails, cuz the last time I was at a piano bar... Shush. Their cocktail list is long and straight outta Spring Break '88, with non-apologetic drinks like the vanilla vodka-heavy "X-Boyfriend", 24oz "bones" of fluorescent concoctions, and even hilariously enormous buckets with names like "Adios Mofo" and "Sex on the Moon"
I'm very popular and am, thus, often out with large groups like bachelor parties and bachelor parties, and other bachelor parties... What with its palatial cocktails, a rowdy crowd, and a public forum for embarrassing buds, this place is perfect. In fact, they have specially named packages (like "The Last Hurrah") which include everything from a round of drinks, to a stage call for the bachelor, to just a plain old reserved table, in case, like a late-career McMahon, you plan to spend most of your time sitting.