While your local one just offers 15 kinds of pork rinds and a dwindling supply of good Four Loko, The Cocktail Bodega -- from the LES stalwarts behind Sons of Essex -- features two floors: the top with next-level street food and liquored-up smoothies amongst fruit-graffiti'd walls, plus a basement with a badass DJ setup and subway seats snagged directly from the MTA
The food's from Chef Roble (you may know him from his Bravo show; you may NOT call him the "Hip-Hop Chef"), who pulls from a crazy span of influences to create a Cuban sandwich quesadilla w/ Gus's pickles, kimchee reubens w/ gruyere & pickled aioli, curried beef & caramelized shallot Jamaican patties, and a goat cheese-topped watermelon sandwich, which's more than just a nod to the hood's seedy beginnings. The longest list of healthy-sounding booze drinks in history includes the Bodega Cleanse w/ Absolut Pears, agave nectar, kiwi & flaxseed, as well as blended juices including the apple/ cuke/ lemon/ spinach Gin Hulk, and the Joint's Fiber Picante w/ tequila, celery & grapefruit juices, agave nectar, serrano chili, and something called "memory enhancer", so that should more or less even out the tequila
Continue getting semi-healthy (right?) with shots like the Vital Vodka topped w/ ginger, lemon, and cayenne, and the Whiskey & Wheatgrass, enough of which should get some Sparks flying between you and the ladies.