Food & Drink

An interactive history of Portland nudity

Since there's no more apt way to honor all those girls nobly paying their way through college than by learning stuff yourself, Kick Ass Oregon History just announced their inaugural Historic Strip Club Tour, which's filling a magic bus full of booze, poles, and dudes who will teach you things about boobs during its Oct 17th maiden trip

Hosted by one half of the profanely irreverent duo who present the KAOH podcast, the fantastic voyage around PDX will see a real historian drop knowledge on Portland's storied history of nakedness, from the olden days of 900-seat burlesque halls, to the 1964 debut of Mary's, to epic legal battles waged in the name of seeing girls named Chastity totally naked while drinking beer. Speaking of beers, you'll swig a ton of them on the bus while hitting sites of long-forgotten strip clubs before descending on several current ones of historical significance, including the legendary Acropolis steak-n-strip and the Pirate's Cove, a weird, dingy Sandy Blvd. oddity that's shaped like a jug -- the kind scallywags drink from, not the kind on the stage

And while sexy tales of strippers past are fantastic, they're nothing without the pole-based stylings of a "mystery performer" present, who you can watch while downing shots of Burnside Bourbon, to honor booze you couldn't afford in college, unless you were a stripper.