Late winter can be a bummer, what with the constant grim rain and lingering darkness, though to be fair, a cell phone with a pen (a pen!!!) would make anyone drag out a nine-year-old song for a Super Bowl commercial. Using the dark for something good, called beer: Fort George's Festival of Dark Arts.
As a part of their month-long celebration of stouts, the wizards of Fort George Brewery have created the FDA, a brand-new fest dedicated to brew you can't see through. It'll sprawl across their Astoria brewery’s pub, patio, and taproom, and feature 20+ dark beers from the Western US augmented by on-site fun like blacksmithing and tattoo guns, or what most NBA players call "arms". Rock your beer-hole with high ABVers like Deschutes' 9.7% End of the World bourbon barrel-aged Belgian stout, Cascade’s 8.8% barrel-aged imperial Diesel Stout, and Good Life Brewing's 7.7% "dark beer lover’s dream" Pass Stout, which the other beers always draw on with markers before high-fiving each other. Further distractions at the “stout carnival” include belly dancing, fire eating, tarot readers, and tattooing by artists from Seaside's Hold Fast and Astoria's Keepsake, who point out that it's illegal to ink the intoxicated, meaning you'll have to get that Severus Snape portrait on your bicep, then quickly begin drinking to forget it.
And if you just can’t get enough, head up two days early to hit the Oysters and Stout dinner, which’s premiering the Fort’s brand-new brewery showroom with five courses of beer-paired, bivalve-filled grub like pickled oysters beside Epic's 9.1% Imperial Stout, which will hopefully make a female diner believe in a thing called love.