They said in middle school to avoid drugs and go for a "natural high", but then again, they also said you could be anything you wanted to be, which is just a lie, because today's economy just can't support velociraptors. For a natural high with Southeast Asian roots, check out Bula Kava House, opening tomorrow.
From a one time scuba instructor who discovered kava when it replaced boozy nights for Hawaiian pals, Bula's slinging traditional preparations of the intoxicating Pacific island root in digs featuring comfy ottomans, a suspended bamboo trellis casting funky shadows against tribal masks, and, to evoke the "thrown together" aesthetics of tropical kava stands, a bar fronted by metal signs, also a Shyamalan film where Mel Gibson protects his children from invaders from Mick Mars. Lest you confuse it with a sparkling wine, kava's an "earthy" and "complex" indigenous libation used by native peoples as "natural Xanax", giving the user a sense of relaxation, warmth, and giddiness (effects which differ strain to strain), which in totally normal fashion is traditionally prepared by having the root chewed and spit into bowls by virgins, finally proving that A.C. Green is good for something other than rebounding and defense. Bula'll focus on basic preparation of the dried powdered root (soaked and run through a juice press), serving room temp coconut bowlfuls of five different kavas, including the "powerful" gingery Hawaiian Isa, the Vanuatuan Melo Melo (said to be calming and slightly sweet), and from the same region, Borogo, which is "the perfect party kava" because it's "easy going down", just like A.C. Green, 'cause he's gotta keep the ladies around somehow.
Attempting to hit the spot between cafe and bar, Bula'll keep night hours, plus offer sammies and traditional Hawaiian desserts like a purple sweet potato pie, which you'd devour, if only your pathetic velociraptor arms could reach the fork. RAARRGHHH!