Since going back to actual school would recall painful memories of you as a virgin, hit up a school-themed watering hole where the drinks are anything but: Gold Star Bar
Sporting a school girl-encouraging interior, this completely renovated Polk Gulch drinkery gets high school-y via a chalkboard-laden wall, sticker-emblazoned desks, an old-school projector, and metal stools, which hopefully Metal Mario's going to come back to clean up
From behind their 12-stool bar, they’ll shake 'n stir no-frills signature cocktails off of a drink menu they keep inside a Sweet Valley High book cover, with Skinner-approved classics like Martinezes and Old Fashioneds. They'll also pop 17 wallet-friendly bottles o' beer like $3 Hamm's or Bud, plus make a $5 beer-tail called the Ace and Guinness, also the not-so-ambiguous nickname a depressed Ace got after Gary left him
To keep your mind sharp, there’re plenty of games to be played, including chalkboard hangman, checkers & chess, hearts (strip hearts?), billiards, and -- the last Wednesday of every month -- a drinking-encouraged version of Pictionary that uses the aforementioned projector and has just one rule: if you're gonna play, don't be a baby
In the next couple months they’ll add taps and food truck-provided brunch, but in the meantime make sure to ask them for your chance at a free drink by arm wrestling the bartender, which shouldn't be hard considering how strong high school nights have made your right wrist.