SF's first totally free bar-hopping shuttle

Getting to a bar in SF sucks: cabs never show up, the Muni is crowded & smelly, and your mom's always like "Why do you keep asking me to drive you to bars when you know perfectly well I live in Stockton?" For a new bar-going transport that would probably never divorce your dad, check out Tonic Limo Service.

Just launched by the dudes behind four of SF's tater-tot-friendliest watering holes, the TLS is a totally free shuttle service that'll drive you and up to six of your friends to any of their quartet of booze-slingers -- Bullitt and Tonic in Russian Hill, Rebel in the Castro, Mayhem in the Mission -- and all you have to do is tip the driver, while generally ignoring the 3-Wood. To make it happen, just call/text 415.830.7679 from anywhere in the 7x7 (whether it's your house, a bar in the Sunset, or right after you get off work at Wet Seal), give him your cross streets, then get an ETA from their driver and have another Zima while you and at least one other buddy wait for an 8-seat burgundy Chevy Suburban. Cooler still, once he arrives you'll pile in and be treated to an in-'burban DVD player that'll play hand-picked classics like Point Break and Boogie Nights, or even classic-er classics like the 1974 sci-fi flick Zardoz (you know, the one where Sean Connery escapes the ruling class of Eternals and, aided by May and Friend, absorbs all of their knowledge -- including that of the Vortex's origin -- in order to destroy the Tabernacle).

The service only runs from 8p-1a on Friday and Saturday nights, and if it gets popular enough (how could it not?) there just may be a TLS to Napa or SFO, which is yet another place that sucks to get to, especially considering your mom lives wayyy closer to Oakland International.