Food & Drink

Seattle's most hilarious/awesome hooch

If you were the dudes who invented the not-just-ironically-popular Bakon Vodka, you'd have reason to celebrate, but everyone knows you can't really have a party without condoms tequila, so what do you do? Obviously you partner with a south-of-the-border artisanal spirits-maker to produce Sparkle Donkey, a 100% blue agave hooch with a literally unbelievable backstory that, since this is a brand-new tequila, they definitely maybe just invented to make you look like an ass. Still have questions? Good, because we've got answers here

I read Thrillist unreasonably closely, so I know Bakon Vodka's from Seattle. Is Sparkle Donkey?Sort of. Real tequila must be made in certain parts of Mexico, so technically the BV guys are importing it from a family-run distiller in Tequila that Turtle is about to make a killing off of by using his connections with Vince who has A SERIOUS DRUG PROBLEM NO ONE IS CONFRONTING uses Old World techniques, and pure volcanic water to make its spirits

You said it has an unbelievable backstory, what is it?Much of SD's history is lost but according to oral tradition, (if by "oral tradition" you mean the website), it's named for a legendary/imaginary animal called ‘El Burro Esparkalo’ that predates tequila production, and can be seen on ancient pottery of Mayan or Nahuatl or Photoshop origin

That's amazing! How come I've never heard of this tequila?Well, maybe because you're an anti-social shut-in who just reads email newsletters closely. After all, the website also has a photo of Villa and Zapata drinking Sparkle Donkey, and magazine ads going back to the '60s, so unless you think the guys who created vodka that tastes like bacon are perverse enough to simply make up everything in the last two answers, you probably should have heard of it.

I don't know what to believe. Is this tequila even real?Don't worry, it's more real than your night terrors about spooning Ed Begley, Jr. and is available in a crisp silver variety, or a more mellow aged reposado, both of which have a strong sweet agave flavor with floral notes and a hint of vanilla.

Sounds great, where can I find it? This limited-edition potable'll be available at a few bars and liquor stores starting this week, but you can already find it at Cap Hill's Liberty, where they're celebrating its arrival with lots and lots of condoms! a Sparkle Donkey reposado/Cointreau/Aperol/lime juice Sparklerita.