Thinking back to school days often brings up nostalgic memories, like the time you got pantsed at a middle school dance, or the time you got pantsed in middle school gym class, or the time you got pantsed as you were about to finally pants that kid who was always pantsing you. For a spot that promises it won't let Jeremy Fink touch your Umbros, hit Detention, open today.
The wiener mavens behind Po Dogs (plus Auto Battery, Grim's, etc.) have recast their 30-seat Ave outpost as a fully boozed, industrial, wood-heavy drinkery by adding ironically scholastic touches including cafeteria-style food trays, a giant chalkboard, and lunch lady-ish eats offered as "snack packs", which you totally don't need if you've got a banana, or a sexually inappropriate middle-aged woman on the household staff. Mixed drink options include the bourbon/ peach schnapps/ cranberry/ Chambord Report Card; the suitably uncomplicated Captain & ginger Frat House; and the white rum/ Captain/ pineapple/ OJ/ grenadine-based Hall Pass, which, when separated by a question mark, is also the response whenever someone suggests casting Anthony Michael in anything. If that'll take too long, they've also got shots ranging from the vodka/ energy drink Bombed Exam, to the Lunch Lady w/ Fireball cinnamon whiskey & apple Pucker, to the cranberry-based Sorority Girl with Jagermeister, which, in addition to the word for contraceptive*, is also the only thing she remembers after a whole year of German.
D's menu boasts a few holdovers (e.g., the grilled onion/ cream cheese Seattle Dog) but is mostly filled w/ old-school kid eats like PB&J sandwiches, chicken wings, and fried favorites including corn dogs and tater tots, the consumption of which is sure to stop anyone from wanting to pull down your checkered shorts.