Most women would happily settle for the boy next door, but not the one behind Ballard's Delancey, because she -- in a move that ironically makes her eleventy times more attractive to boys everywhere -- would rather have the bar next door, Essex. Adjacent to the aforementioned wood-fired 'za spot she runs with her husband (boo!!), this pale marble- and black walnut-heavy boozer is decked with vintage-y wallpaper/tile patterns, and serves up takes on classic cocktails made with "fresh" ingredients, so don't be surprised to see them garnished with "dice on the mirror". The list of potables runs from a couple sparkling draft 'tails like the Campari/Dolin sweet vermouth Americano, to '80s-inspired options like the rose petal-infused gin/cucumber Robert Palmer Girls, and the tequila/grapefruit bitters/egg white Private Eyes, the latter of which they'll presumably hire to see if you find the former Simply Irresistible. The eats menu features cured meats and cheese that sells by the ounce (at least until Prop Joe took him off the street to work with the Greeks), plus a few prepared dishes like lacquered smoked pork shoulder. There're also desserts like vanilla malt ice cream w/ toasted sesame brittle, and a sizable list of wines, plus suds like Ballard-based Hilliard's and a Canadian triple, the consumption of which will likely make everyone else in the bar seem eleventy times more attractive.