There're always reasons to venture into deepest, darkest, Orange County, like to secure a perfectly matched kidney, or to find the man who killed your German shepherd. On Wednesday, you can take beachy relaxation off that list, when The Beachcomber opens in Malibu.
On the closed-since-'95 Malibu Pier, 'Comber's outpost is a patio'd, bungalow-esque cafe with Pacific views -- similar to the Newport Beach location, without the haunting memories of dads turning out to be gay and totally awkward proms. The menu's stacked with beach-unfriendly breakfast (e.g., a portuguese sausage/bacon ranch scramble), lunch (a filet mignon cobb salad), and dinner (berkshire pork osso bucco); Sunday brunch offers selections from all three meals, because God wants you to be happy, but is also desperate for company. The drink menu includes everything from standard bloodys, to the banana rum/orange/pineapple juice "Bootlegger", to the Royal Hawaiian -- a mai tai from an "ancient recipe we found on some guy's refrigerator in Maui", flagrant good-timesery that really just means "We're dying to have McConaughey in for a drink."
The restaurant's already got a neighboring bar, and the pier'll soon boast a shake stand, a surf museum, and a deep sea fishing operation -- for when it's time to disappear that bastard who ran over Rolf.