Technology is great for helping to mask your cluelessness, from Wikipedia and GPS to... wait, what the hell are those things? Giving on-the-go-expertise for the clueless beer-lover, BeerCloud.
Powered by the vast databases of hoppy knowledge found on the Kingston-based site GreatBrewers.com, BC is an encyclopedic interactive app that gives you the lowdown on over 2,900 beers (history, style, taste profile, etc.) and 400 breweries, tells you which beer to pair with seemingly any food/ingredient (250+), and even uses GPS to help you track down your favorite beer at nearly 80,000 locations, so at least one of them's got to have Red Dog. Using BC is simple, just scan a beverage's barcode in with the phone's camera (iPhone, Droid, etc.) and you'll be instantly gratified with an extensive description of said suds (right down to the correct glassware) and a heady listing of the brewery's entire catalog, as well as the option to browse similar brews by 140-aptly named styles like Not Quite Pale Ale, Belgian Wheat Beer, and Bohemian Pilsener, which would be much more delicious if it didn't reek like patchouli and casual sex. If you find yourself in need of specific suds in a random hood, just plug in your location and your beer of choice, and a list will pop up w/ store names/addys and distance from your phone, which you can then show on a map with directions; BC also acts as your own personal beer sommelier, pairing the perfect ale with whatever you're washing down, like American Style Brown Ale with chili, Bamberg Style Bock, MÃ¤rzen or Weiss with bacon, and Red Dog with overcharging your friends for crappy beer because you have a sister with a fake New Jersey license.
The good folks at GB are already working on version 2.0 which should include seamless website-app account integration, a favorites map that includes your top 25 bars/stores, and tasting notes you can share with friends, in the same way you share music over the Internet. Just kidding, there's no way that's been invented.