While giving thanks that cold, fickle February is the Muggsy Bogues of months, take a minute to drink from this month's fountain of Greatest Hits, filtered from the exotic waters of other cities, and recyclable in Maine, for a nickel refund.
Emailed to Nation: Bacon Jerky From Bacon Freaks, the pork-crazed visionaries who brought us bacon-spiked pancake mix, this 100% swine line claims to be the world's first commercially produced bacon jerky, making them every bit as awesome as the dude who invented sex. It tastes like heaven mixed with jealousy!
Emailed to Chicago: Artificial Flavor Spring Collection Inspired by "time travel" (who's not?), AFlavor's taken decades' worth of casual classics and imbued them with subtle, modern detailing -- just enough to let people know you're not some loser still wearing the same casual classics. Check the styles here
Emailed to SF: Zoodango Just relaunched as a slickly powerful geosearch tool that unearths all manner of nightlife, dining, and recreational venues, Zood incongruously began as a "social networking site for young professionals", before its CEO impetuously went on The Apprentice, unintentionally sabotaged it with too much exposure before it was ready, and got himself fired (from TV). Maybe something's happening at that club you don't know about on Lansdowne!
Emailed to Vegas: Rock Band Competition Harrah's is offering the marginally talented a stupendous opportunity: sign up your fake band, pick a number from a preset song list (Metallica, Alice in Chains, Chili Peppers, etc), then faux-jam your way through a series of local, regional, and national competitions to win a trip to Atlantic City, where your "band" will open for the B-52s at the House of Blues, and receive $10,000 -- which you'll immediately blow on mock-tails and candy cigarettes. You used to know some of "Under The Bridge" on your acoustic!
Emailed to Miami: YumBunny Out of Ft. Lauderdale, YB's a just-launched matchmaking site that pairs your profile with the profiles of available singles, then lets other users vote thumbs-up or -down on whether the two of you are good enough/bad enough for each other. Time to update your profile pic with another visit to Glamour Shots...