Beer cocktails with awesome names

Kenmore's drink overlords have just unveiled five new suds-based cocktails for their summer menu, ranging from mo' standard options like Red Beer (Miller Lite, tomato juice), the ES Boilermaker (house-made Rye, Jever Pils), and the Maldenado (Negra Modelo, tequila, agave nectar, fresh lime), to more obscure potables like the Horseneck Shandy (Harpoon UFO w/ lemonade & Peychaud's bitters), and the Bitter Brew, which is infused with Czechvar, orange bitters, and the sense that all these airhead girls just seem to walk through life being handed everything on a silver freaking platter!