There're two types of people in this world, and neither of them wants to pick up your laundry. Meet the third type, at RUNmyERRAND
Launched by a Boston-based former IBM software developer, RUN's basically a Craigslist where all the bumper pool tables are menial chores, linking people who need small jobs done (Senders) with people crazy enough to actually wanna help them (Runners). If you need an errand tended to, sign up as a Sender, give your job a title, further deets, a deadline, and a Runner's fee, and wait for a Runner to assign themselves to your task, or just tell you straight up that they feel uncomfortable lifting you out of the bathtub. Once a Runner's committed to your errand, you can see what you're in for by checking their ratings and feedback, then coordinate a plan of action, and settle back into One Tree Hill whilst they complete said task; once the deed is done, you confirm it, rate your Runner, and pay the Runner online using "credits" (one per $1), making the need to keep cash on hand unnecessary, meaning your front window can finally house that cool "Driver has less than $20 in change" from your glory days as a cabbie
If your astrological sign indicates you're a giver, you can also apply to be a Runner, contingent on your location and flexibility of schedule, because there may be two types of people in the world, but your poor ass needs both their money.