Going out to get fitted for a suit is a lot like getting tested for STDs: you don't want to do it, and so you lie and say you did it, and then you feel guilty and end up having to fake your own death again. Saving you the hassle of acquiring all those forged documents, Proper Suit. Fresh outta the Bay City from two college buddies and a dude they met in Shanghai (don't worry, he's from Portland!), PS's an online clothier that stitches sub-$500 form-fitting custom-made bespoke suits, all of which're cut to your exact measurements, delivered to your door in under three weeks, and "undergo 26 hours of handwork", also an accurate description of a week in middle school. Simply choose one of 44 wrinkle-resistant 97% imported wool fabrics by color or pattern (charcoal/white pinstripe, Hemp khaki, Gun Metal Dark herringbone) along with the color of breathable silk interior lining; then select design elements like number of jacket buttons, position of vents, lapel style, stitching, and whether your trousers should be pleated or cuffed -- or as its more colloquially known "Pacman Jones'd". From there things get mildly kinky as "you will need to ask a friend to mark dots on your body and then take corresponding measurements" following their elaborate special system (carefully illustrated in an involved PDF) that includes everything from wrist and stomach to left shoulder and knee size; after the initial awkwardness subsides, input the 20 different measurements, finalize the order, and then ever so quietly ask your Mom to leave because you're feeling "middle-schooly". Because man is more than well hung slacks, PS's also rolling out a line of dapper-looking vests, winter coats, and in a few short months, even design-your-own tuxedos -- perfect, as though "Joe Joeyson" looks a lot like you, he's from Tulsa, OK and a bit of a high roller.