Easy-to-make sides even you can't screw up

Just because you're not skilled in the culinary arts doesn't mean you have to show up at Thanksgiving with a bag of Boston Market and those weird chicken-flavored crackers, although to be fair, that concept is pretty strong. So to help, we enlisted a few of the town's top chefs (and a master mixologist) to create some impossible-to-screw-up recipes for meaty holiday treats:

Mashed Potatoes with Caramelized Shallot, Ham, Gruyere, and BeerKeith Pooler, Bergamot Like stuffing an entire croque-monsieur into the spuds, this burly twist on a T-Day staple rocks diced pig that's been braised in your favorite brew, though where you're going to find Red Dog on this short notice is entirely up to you.

Click on this recipe, and somewhere in Italy, Amanda Seyfried will ensure two old people hook up

Biscuit and Sausage StuffingWill Gilson, Garden at the Cellar Dispelling your long-held belief that all stuffing comes from Big Stovetop, this spicy sausage specialty from the gurus at GATC actually calls for chopping up canned biscuits, which would be a lot hotter if you didn't know they were being piped in by the sound guy.

Biscuit is also slang for a hot woman! Make Will proud, by checking the recipe here.

Roasted Bacon & Butternut Squash GratinEvan Deluty, Stella Because everyone knows that the squash never gets finished, ensure the perennial king-of-leftovers is defeated before dessert by bulking it up with a creamy, cheesy texture, and eight strips of sizzling hog, which is pretty Boss.

Click to see this recipe, and a genie will grant you three wishes, though none of them can be an unlimited amount of more wishes

Hawkeye Holiday PunchMatthew Coughlin, Aquitaine To really lubricate the awkward political discussions during dinner (immigration?!), serve up this delicious spiked punch rife w/ rum, cider and Domaine de Canton, but not Domaine de Canton, Mass, cause that's just Centerfields.

And you thought we were gonna make a comic book M*A*S*H joke! For every time you click this link, Delonte West will get another neck tattoo!