Year in Headlights: '08
This is the singular piece of goodness you will get this week. Ensure enjoyment of the New Year and ration it wisely...
Food/Drink: Even though a phenomenon common in Texas, the celebrity chef still couldn't understand how the tornado had caused water to soak his Fry Daddy, making him wonder if God was catering to the needs of his chief rival, Jimmy Dean.
Gear: Looking out at the street, sale items were strewn everywhere; apparently the proprietor had shook up a leathery Amish craftsman.
Gadgets: Although they were showcasing the latest water sport technology and standing knee-deep in a specially designed pool, the scientists sharply object to being called water technicians.
Events: Just because no one can drink at the New Year's party, doesn't mean the dude in the "I Like It Hot" turtleneck and fedora has a right to start needling people for information.