Bark Hot Dogs

True virtuosos challenge themselves by working with less refined materials, like when Steven Soderbergh directed adult star Sasha Grey in The Girlfriend Experience, or Sly Stallone directed...himself. Sicking culinary genius upon humble cased meat, the toques behind Bark Hot Dogs.

From an ex-Cafe Gray vet and his Franny's alum partner, Bark's taking the dirty water denizen and splendiferizing it with elevated accoutrements and a meticulous attention to detail -- like Pimp My Ride for the Oscar Mayer Wiener Mobile, if the Mobile was actually a real hot dog. The dogs themselves are made exclusively for Bark by an upstate Austrian sausage artiste, who pumps a mix of pork shank/shoulder/neck and beef shoulder into all-natural sheep casings before smoking them; the taste-missiles are then griddle cooked and basted with smoked lard butter, and slapped with all-house-made toppings (e.g., oak barrel-aged sauerkraut, pickles, chili) to create 10 pre-fab models, including the hot-pepper relish & mustard "Bark", the onion-y "Cheddar Bacon", and a baked heirloom beans/smoky pork/mustard job called the "Beans and Frank", a deft sidestepping of genitalia references for a place that specializes in wieners. Non-dog action includes sammys like the Crispy Pork (pork belly/shoulder/jowl breaded & fried, w/ pickled chilis and cucumber) and the Chorizo (avocado/sour cream/queso fresco); sides include onion rings and salt & pepper fries running from plain, to chili cheddar, to disco, a caloric Inferno you'll need to burn baby burn, lest this be your Last Dance, and you don't Dancing Queen.

To wash down your heart attack, there're 10 different bottled sodas from CT specialist Foxon Park, malted-chocolate and peanut-butter shakes, and a handful of drafts including the Bark-exclusive Six Point Bark Red Ale, which you'll sit around drinking for hours just avoid your own girlfriend experience.