Souvenirs can provide fond memories of places you've visited, unless you already ate all the astronaut ice cream...even the strawberry! For souvenirs that're supposed to be hard and flavorless, hit up Heirloom Gift Pens. Started in Yardley by a dude that was "volunteered" to clean up a historic graveyard, HGP takes salvaged wood from sites relevant to the American Revolution and works them into fine writing instruments, letting your desk sport more historic wood than George Washington's
pants teeth. In a months-long, "carefully rushed" process, they visit local landmarks, gather tree clippings and fallen branches, and head back to the woodshop where the pieces are cut, lathed, and Dremel'd into a rough shape before being fitted with 24k gold hardware and hand-finished through a "16-step operation", even if that game's only got 12, and it makes Chutes N Ladders look like Risk. Models include a twist-style ballpoint sculpted from a distorted-grain, light brown oak from the Washington Memorial Chapel at Valley Forge, another made of lightly buffed holly from Thomas Paine's backyard (etched with a copy of his signature), and one from the Battle of Trenton crafted from cracked mulberry -- damn, Trenton...even your trees be on the pipe! Each piece comes with photo documentation, a serial number, a history-filled pamphlet, and an owner's card, plus most stationery or office supply shops carry the refills, which unfortunately can't be said for those vacuum-sealed silver bags -- good thing that can of Tang powder is like, endless!