Ugly Holiday Sweater Bar Tour

This Saturday, $5 entry and a hilariously hideous holiday knit gains you access to 8 hours of revelrous bar crawl-age ($2 beers at Hawk n' Dove, then Bullfeathers, Tune Inn, Thai Roma, 18th Amendment, and Ugly Mug), with free Santa hats for the first 200 crawlers, plus a chance for glory in the "Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest", perhaps the only thing that could distract from that idiotic Santa hat.