The government's data on gas guzzlers is pretty funny. Uncle Sam's EPA rankers are about as knowledgable about cars as Pete Carroll is about goal line play calling. Case in point, the EPA considers a Rolls-Royce Phantom Coupe to be in the same class as a Prius, and an Aston Martin DB9 to be in the same class as a Scion iQ. Riiiiiiiiight.
With that in mind, the most fuel inefficient cars in America across every category are all perfectly desirable vehicles that anyone would enjoy to have in their garage. And here's that list. Though, interestingly, the Hummer isn't on the government website. Apparently they're keeping the list to cars that use the miles per gallon metric, not gallons per mile.
Two-Seater: Bugatti Veyron, 10 MPG
That’s much less than one mpg for each of the 16 cylinders. And you know what? Not a single Veyron owner has ever cared about that. They’re too busy trying to keep their head on straight while 1,000-1,200 horses are working to pull it off.
Minicompact: Aston Martin DB9, 15 MPG
Like the Veyron, this isn’t exactly an issue for DB9 owners. The V12’s thirsty, obviously, but at 15 mpg it’s really about the same as your average muscle car from your Dad’s years.
Subcompact: Bentley Continental GT Convertible, 15 MPG
Fun fact, if you want to drive a V12 to the Arctic Circle and go for a Guinness record for fastest top speed on ice, this is a good car to pick. If you want to make it to the Arctic Circle on a single tank of gas…not so much.
Compact: Rolls-Royce Phantom Coupe, 14 MPG
Can you think of a better way to cruise down the road with or without a top? Didn’t think so. 14 mpg’s the price to pay for it.
Midsize: Bentley Mulsanne, 13 MPG
You might be surprised that the 8-cylinder Bentley gets less fuel economy than the 12-cylinder version, but you’ve gotta realize that it’s working that much move to cary even more heft.
Large: Rolls-Royce Phantom, 14 MPG
Nope. No idea how the government can consider two Rolls-Royces from the same subfamily of cars as such a different class of vehicle. That massive 12 cylinder engine’s simply heavenly as it’s drinking away your grandchildren’s future, though.
Small Station Wagon: Infiniti QX50, 20 MPG
That whole heft-vs engine thing again. At least it hits 20 mpg, and does so really comfortably.
Midsize Station Wagon: Mercedes E63 AMG S 4Matic Wagon, 18 MPG
Let’s be honest, the only way you’re ever getting the claimed 18 mpg out of this car is if you let someone else drive it. It’s simply too much fun to even considering giving your right foot a break.
Small Pickup Truck: Tacoma 2WD, 17 MPG
While overall the truck categories tend to make a little more sense, it’s kinda funny that the Tacoma is both best and worst in its class, depending on if you buy the fun one (read: the 6-cylinder version).
Standard Pickup Truck: Ram 1500 4WD, 15 MPG
This is actually a four way tie, but unlike the Ram’s competition here (the Tundra's) fuel economy goes up when you forego the 4WD option.
Small SUV: Nissan Xterra, 15 MPG
The Nissan Xterra’s surprisngly quite good at getting you into and out of all sorts of terrain. It’s going down the highway where you’re paying the price for SUV aerodynamics…to the tune of 17 mpg
Standard SUV: Mercedes G63 AMG, 13 MPG
There are two really good reasons you’d want to be in a G-wagen if there are evil Bond villain-types trying to blow stuff up around you. 1) It’s an incredible performer that doesn’t have to stop just because a road ends, and 2) There won’t be any fuel left to blow up, thanks to 13 mpg when driven conservatively.
Minivans: Toyota Sienna, 19 MPG
Frankly, getting less mpg in a minivan might be a good thing. If you have to exit more frequently for fuel, you get more breaks from all the screaming children you’ve got stuffed in the back seat. That’s what everyone with minivans does, right?
Aaron Miller is the Rides Editor of Supercompressor.