The Full Metal Jacket Jeep

After getting to play with thoroughly inspecting Starwood's Custom Jeep Program, we decided to take a closer look at their most extreme off-road offering that virtually guarantees nothing's gonna stop you. It's called the Full Metal Jacket, and it's about as crazed as R. Lee Ermey screaming at Vincent D'Onofrio.

For starters, like all of Starwood's Jeeps, the FMJ is coated in unscratchable Kevlar paint. But it's also got Smittybilt Body Armor at the front and rear bumper and all four corners to help protect against the giant boulders this thing's built to drive over. And it comes with a hardtop, you know, if you're a *cough* absolute pussy *cough*.

Then there's the special rock-climbing axles from one of the best names in the business, Dana, which acts as a trick long-arm suspension that allows for extra stability over extremely rough terrain. And to make sure it's damn comfy on the street and still a badass in the wilderness, it's got a super-trick suspension with custom mounting points. After all, like Doc Brown said, where this is going, you don't need roads.

Helping all that suspension goodness navigate the terrain are these massive 15.5-inch wide Mud Grappler tires on 22-inch XD Bomb wheels. The spare? That's in a beautiful tire carrier in the back.

The bottom line: you're not going to get stuck — like ever. But when you come across someone that is, this remote-controlled winch can pull over 10,000 pounds. Middle of the night on a narco drug raid? No sweat. The Jeep has more LEDs than Chevy Chase can fit on a house.

Finally, the interior's just as hardcore with a kevlar-lined floor, two fire extinguishers, and a friggin' safe under the seat. Keeping you surrounded by as much luxury as possible are a pair of leather- and Alcantara-wrapped Ferrari-style Daytona seats, a touchscreen nav system, and cameras at both the back and the front, so you can properly see which boulders you're crushing.