Never get a texting ticket again

Because getting a texting ticket is worse than getting a frowny face text in response to a sext, there's OnMaWay, a just-launched app outta Redondo Beach that thwarts the fuzz by automatically keeping your friends abreast of your location as you're headed to meet them, and hopefully, abreast or two.

It's so easy even a man dressed up in caveman makeup but kind of confusingly also wearing normal human clothes with almost no tech skills can handle it: first, choose "Short Trip" from the two options on the home screen (more on the "Epic Journey" below); then, input the number of the people you're on your way to see, and choose the amount of time between updates. With each text, your friends will get a link to your GPS coordinates so they can see exactly how far away you are, so every five minutes they can say, "How long does it take to finish a Zagat-acclaimed Burnin' Love Burger from the Red Robin in Glendale".

In addition, if you're going to, say, Azerbaijan (for the mad-inedible crude material exports, son!!), "Epic Journey" skips the texting to do the same coordinate-dropping on your Facebook or Twitter, where you will be updating not just a couple people, but all your breast friends at once.