A week from now, a friend will tell you he parked on Meridian's residential blocks without a permit, and you'll be like "you are a lying person who lies, because that just doesn't happen, liar," then you'll remember you read this story (and saved it to My Thrillist!), and immediately park there too after signing up for car2go. The just-into-Miami service that's perfect for quick trips across town has commissioned 250 fueled-up, blue/white smart cars that're only 8.8ft long, meaning they can fit into just about any spot, and thanks to deals cut with the city, won't get towed from most of them. How the hell does this all work, you ask?
Step One: Register online (or at their office if you don't trust totally dangerous online transactions, Tom Newman) to receive your Member Card for a one-time $35 fee.
Step Two: Use their online map or app to pinpoint the nearest whip's location (generally no more than a 5min walk, unless you're in Doral, in which case you need help with way more than just a car). Just make sure the green "available" light's on, swipe your card over the windshield, enter your PIN, and you'll be charged just $0.38/minute.
Step Three: Drive places.
Step Four: When done driving places, just park at any City of Miami/ residential spot for the first time in history without being towed before re-swiping your card over the windshield to leave it for the next guy.
Step Five: This actually isn't a step at all, but you never have to pay for gas. Repeat: YOU NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR GAS! This is also not a lie.