You no doubt remember the amazing zombie-proof mopeds that were announced over the summer. The Motoped units included GPS, extra fuel tanks, and friggin' machine guns. They're essentially hardcore mountain bikes with 50 cc engines attached to get you up to 30 mph when you need to get very far away, quickly. The only catch was that they weren't ready for purchase.
Now they are. Even better, there are actually four different versions.
Basically, you'll only need the Black-Ops edition (shown in full up top) if your life revolves around a desolate wasteland that may or may not be full of undead vagabonds. Then again, you'll want it, so long as you've got eyes and a pulse. Extra fuel tanks extend the range to 500 miles—after that, you've gotta pedal—and the back can accept just about any mount out there. Yes, that's a crossbow on the back of this one. There's no time to explain.
Think of the Survival as the Black-Ops' little brother. It features 90% of its sibling's capabilities, and if you're going camping places so desolate there's no need to fear zombies, you'll be just fine.
Okay, forget the zombies and the wastelands. The Pro is a modified Pro BMX (see what they did there?) that basically bridges the gap between a full-fledged dirt-bike and a mountain bike. More or less, you get to go faster up a mountain trail without exhausting yourself.
Modeled after board-track bikes from over 100 years ago, Cruzer is just that—something to cruise around on. It doesn't have the range of the Survival (200 miles), or the rugged ability of the Pro, but with options for a surfboard rack and a place to put your beer for when you get home, it's still pretty amazing.