If you're pretty sure that you love your car the way parents love their child, then you better give it the TLC it needs. Learning how to pop your own hood and throwing a quart of the stuff your car is craving is a whole lot easier than totally messing up your baby and having to get a new one. And you wouldn't walk away from your baby, would you? To prove it, we've compiled a list of 23 simple tasks that are actually way harder than lubing up your engine with a dipstick (head out of gutter, please).
1. Waking up without hitting snooze
Unless you're “self”-employed -- in which case… nope, no excuse, seriously, get up already, it’s noon -- on a Tuesday.
2. Making your bed
Changing a duvet cover is like a full-body workout, and the corners never lineup properly no matter how hard you try.
3. Taking a selfie
Scientific fact: nine times out of 10, you end up looking like a mongrel.
4. Calculating the tip on your take-out
What’s 18% of $22.50 again? You don’t want to get on the pizza guy's bad side when he's coming to your door five nights a week.
5. Mastering the art of the pick-up line
Pro tip. This one never works: "Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for."
6. Getting Siri to tell you about the meaning of life
Her (actual) answer: "I give up."
7. Putting the seat down
What can we say -- it just always slips the mind…
8. Accepting defeat
As Rocky Balboa once said, "It ain't about how hard ya hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
9. Figuring out how to delete your teenage MySpace account
And God help anyone who finds your old Friendster account.
10. Getting a six-pack (at the corner store during a winter storm)
Must. Get. Off. Couch.
11. Using SnapChat.
Face it: you're not a millennial.
12. Writing a check
What is paper, anyway?
13. Making spaghetti.
Why does the water take so long to boil? And why do the noodles always seem to come out the terrible combination of al dente/mushy. Shouldn’t it be one or the other?
14. Jogging at 1.00 speed on a treadmill
But .5 on the other hand...
15. Basic algebra
There's a reason every ninth-grader asks why they have to learn it. Hint: you don’t.
16. Renewing your driver's license
Even when they simply mail you the form to send in -- no matter what, that thing is always expired.
17. Launching a Kickstarter to fund your insane business project
You heard the one about the Grilled Cheezus, right?
18. Falling asleep
Unless you happen to catch an episode of True Detective Season 2.
19. Choosing what to stream on Netflix...
There’s just too much to choose from, so you end up shame-watching every season of Friends or streaming The Wire for the 17th time.
20. Figuring out whether it's pronounced "read" receipts or "red" receipts
Trust us, it's an iPhone thing, just google it. (Hint: the correct answer rhymes with seed.)
21. Remembering to buckle up
Now it's even easier thanks to that annoying beeping noise that won't quit until you click.
22. Figuring out the perfect excuse to call in sick
The more ridiculous and specific the better; you heard the one about the child who stuck a mint up his dad's nose and he had to go to the hospital to have it removed? True story.
23. Not changing your oil
Down the road, a fresh quart is a way better investment than buying a whole new engine.