That's right, this is an article about sexualized car parts. If you thought this was something else, you are completely mistaken. Throughout the years, some designers have gotten really weird when incorporating certain traits into their makes and models. Don't believe me? Maybe these five incredibly obvious examples will help change your mind.
Hubba hubba! Apparently "hubcaps" are a vulgar slang term for breasts that should be a punishable offense to say. However, one can see how that term creeped into the weird, pervy lexicon of people who really, really like cars. And boobs, apparently.
I bet you're expecting some sort of phallic joke. Maybe something about yanking on it? Well pump your breaks, Jack. This isn't your average low-brow write-up. Sure, the handbrake slightly resembles a bobby dangler, but defrost your meat popsicle for a second and get your mind out of the gutter.
3. These 1950s bumpers
In the '50s, the entire country was fixated on two things: the Communist threat, and giant breasts. Unsurprisingly, then, the term for the bullet bumpers you’d see on the front of old Cadillacs -- and the like -- is Dagmars. Why? Because there was an actress at the time by the name of Dagmar that was well known for her very prominent, uh, Dagmars!
4. Everything about the Nissan ZEOD RC
The Nissan ZEOD RC is a race car built around the concept of a DeltaWing, meaning it has a narrow front and wide rear (bow chicka wow wow) for "aerodynamic reasons." If this car looks familiar to you, that’s because it’s the closest thing you’ll ever see in real life to the Ambiguously Gay Duo’s car from Saturday Night Live. Also, it bears a strong resemblance to a dong.
5. The Edsel’s Grille
The Edsel is considered one of the greatest automotive failures ever conceived. It's also one of the greatest examples of a car that has a vulva on it. Ah, the sexual repression of the late 1950s. What a time to be alive!
Aaron Miller is the Rides editor for Supercompressor, and can be found on Twitter. He's hesitant to take an automotive Rorschach test.
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