The last thing you need while on the road is someone scaring the crap out of you and/or distracting you from piloting a 4,000-pound hunk of metal. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of horrifying people out there that nearly everyone has come across at one time or another. Fourteen, to be exact.
1. The Trucker From Final Destination
You’re almost definitely not going to die a freakish and gruesome death. Probably. Wait, that guy hasn't been up for 72 straight hours, has he?
2. The Cop Lingering Behind You
You're going the speed limit, and he isn't even pulling you over. But he just wants to let you know he could.
3. The Guy Who Unnecessarily Slams His Brakes
This jabroni seems to slam on his brakes just for the hell of it. Either he stops approximately one inch behind your bumper or he abruptly stops right in front of you, almost causing you to rear-end him.
4. The Truckers Surrounding You On All Sides
That feeling when you have to drive in between two semi-trucks at 70 mph. Yeah, no.
5. Anyone Driving A Gravel Truck
Ah, the gravel truck driver. Why he always aims for every single bump in the road is a mystery, but your paint pays the price.
6. Anyone Who Runs Out Into The Street
They jump out from the side of the road at the worst possible moment. Whether it’s a dog, kid, deer, or someone driving a g-g-g-ghost car (see video).
7. The Guy Daydreaming Because His Brain Shut Off
Always driving the same route lets your brain relax, and that’s when attention spans waver. Think about the millions of people who drive the same route every day, suddenly snapping out of it and realizing they've just changed lanes.
8. The Guy Who Has No Idea How Crappy His Car Is
Is that ticking time bomb going to break down? Is this car about to suddenly drive sharply to the right? Is its back wheel just going to fall off at any moment?!
9. Phillip J. Road Rage
Chances are that he's probably just really pissed that someone cut him off, and acting out is a stress valve. Still, driving erratically is dangerous, and who knows if there's a gun in the glove box.
10. The Backroad Blinder
Trying to drive down a two-lane road at night when you're blinded by an oncoming car's high beams is almost as bad as simply closing your eyes. All you can do is focus your eyes on the stripe by the shoulder and hope you don't have to take an evasive action in the next two or three seconds.
11. The Guy Who's Reading A F*cking Book
Or eating, texting, shaving, or anything else that takes them away from the task at hand. True story: back in college, I knew a guy who claimed to have read the bible during a cross-country road trip. His defense to my disgust? If he died in a crash, he’d go to heaven anyway. Doubt it.
12. The Person Who Parks On The Onramp
WHY ARE YOU PARKING ON THE ONRAMP?! Is there a litter of stray puppies running amok? No? Then go or you're going to get us all killed.
13. The Woman With 17 Kids In Her Minivan
There is no way on Earth the driver is paying proper attention to the road if she is dealing with all those kids. Stay well clear.
14. The Creeper
The car stops several feet behind you, which is good, but the driver could be texting away, perving on a girl in the next lane, or putting on makeup. When he or she creeps forward, and forward, and forward, how do you know you're not going to get hit? You don't, man. You just don't.