There are times in a man's life when he must redouble his efforts: at 40, when he really wants that promotion, and at 12am, when he really wants that demotion. Helping you with the former: the 2-for-1 Midnight Specials drinking guide.
The list below covers sauce of varying classiness served two-fer style after midnight in joints that're geographically dispersed across the island -- so no matter where you are, there are always two drinks nearby:
Midnight till close Tuesdays at 29 E 3rd St, between 2nd and Bowery; 212.505.7344
This brown-liquor-heavy joint's doubling down on beers and well drinks while the DJ spins two songs per artist back-to-back, unless it's Spacehog, in which case you will have a mean time finding a second song.
Sunburnt Cow and Bondi Road
Thurs at 137 Ave C, between 8th and 9th and 153 Rivington St, at Suffolk; 212.253.5311
These two Aussie pubs pour two-for-one all night long on Thursdays -- which might seem generous, until you realize their barback ate your baby.
Midnight till close Sundays at 115 1st Ave, at 7th; 212.254.4317
This standby dive offers late-night discounts instead of 2-for-1s, but the $3 beers are half the normal price "so it's basically two for one". Math is confusing.
Lower East Side
Midnight-close Saturdays at 171 E Broadway, between Rutgers and Jefferson; 212.228.3100
The double-barred, LES-sleek veggie joint's making up for its meatlessness with a sake bomb two-fer -- the vegetarian's way of saying "see, we party".
7pm till close Tuesdays at 134 W 3rd St at 6th; 212.253.6955
Tuesdays at Town Tavern get $5 Coors Lite pitchers and half-price 20-beer towers that look vaguely like barometers. Or thermometers? What is a barometer, anyway?
9pm till close Wednesdays at 5 E 38th St, between 5th and Madison; 212.679.0646
This midtown sleeve serves half-price drinks to any service industry professional who flashes their pay stub or business card; so after you procure that service industry professional's business card, he'll be able to guess why you never called him.
11pm until 2am daily at 2888 Broadway, between 112th and 113th; 212.864.1143
This comfy restaurant/bar's serving 2-for-1 red/whites, beers, and well drinks, plus 1/2 price homemade pizzas every day of the week -- a "come Uptown and see me" bribe reminscent of mom doing your laundry in return for weekly visits.
Midnight till 3am at 522 Columbus Ave, at 85th; 212.787.3473
Every day of the week this TV'd-up sports pub pours 2-for-1 microbrews (Geary's Pale Ale, Magic Hat, etc) and well drinks, plus reds and whites -- proving that double-fisting is always manly, even when you're in the Firehouse Tavern, clutching Chardonnays.