Idiot-Proof Super Bowl Snacking

This Super Sunday, be the bigdicked hero without even trying: We talked to the talent from Ducca and Bacar to bring you can't-fail snacks guaranteed to satisfy all your friends, and that guy who must have just wandered in off the street. All the recipes are stupid-simple and only need a few ingredients from your local Safeway. To wash it down, three Bourbon & Branch-ers came up with a pair of cocktail options -- whichever you choose, it'll be strong enough for a man, pH-balanced for Joe Buc

Spicy Superbowl Spare Ribs

Robbie Lewis is the Executive Chef at Bacar, previously of Rubicon, Boulevard, Chez Panisse, and Jardiniere

Even now, Taco Bell scientists are toiling around the clock to formulate a mass-market version of these taco-seasoned treats, presumably to be introduced as "The Ribbie-Changa" by a sombrero'd rapping armadillo

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Arancini Rice

Richard Corbo is Ducca's Executive Chef, previously of Gary Danko

If fried rice balls stuffed with cheese isn't All-American, then why are have they broken off diplomatic relations with Iran

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The Patriot

Joel Baker, Todd Smith, and Yanni Kehagiaras are top cocktail monsters at Bourbon & Branch

Featuring Irish Whiskey, The Patriot's a variant of the classic Wild Eyed Rose, a far more hallowed beverage than The Crosseyed Pansy

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The Giant

NYC is big on two things: media and Rye whiskey; since media will clog your shaker, this treat employs the latter.