Super Screen: Dekk
134 Reade St, between Hudson and Greenwich; 212.941.9401
This restaurant/bar/event space sports a theater-sized screen, for visuals so expansive, you'll mistake Marvin Harrison's mustache for Sherwood Forest. You'll assume you're seeing things, until Kevin Costner merrily robs his nostril.
Super Breasts: Penthouse Executive Club Party
5pm at 603 W 45th St, at 11th; 212.245.0002; $40
Besides the chance to ogle women, your price of admission gets you a prime rib buffet and drink specials (including 1/2 price beer, which at the PEC brings the cost down to about...the price of a beer).
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Super French: Felix
340 W Broadway, at Grand; 212.431.0021
This booze-friendly bistro's hosting a Super Boum, complete with skimpily dressed Euro-girl dancers at halftime. This party's ideal if you don't feel like watching with pigskin diehards, but do like hanging with people who'd consider either team's mascot a delicacy.
Super Semites: Park Avenue Synagogue Singles Party!
6pm at 50 E 87th St, at Madison; for info, call 212.371.3933; $15
PAS' XLI mixer promises over 200 Jewish singles, plus kosher dairy snacks, wine, beer, and soda. When making time with the ladies, try the line, "Did you know former Bear Sid Luckman, an observant, Brooklyn-born Jew, was the first successful T-Formation quarterback?" Even as your dropped pants put you in the controversial "M-Formation".
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Super Woman: Madame X Anti-Super Bowl Party
94 W Houston, between LaGuardia and Thompson; 212.539.0808
MX is throwing a gametime, girls-only bash with striptease lessons, lingerie, "novelties", and the warning that "Gentlemen will not be admitted before 10pm" -- but they go on to concede "those who arrive between 10 and 11 will receive free admission and a complimentary beer for their courage." Any man showing up after 11 will miss the boat, and find his novelty completely trite.
Show the flyer to a girl
Super Early: Super Joel Saturday
10pm tomorrow night at Rififi
332 E 11th St, between 1st and 2nd; 212.677.1027
Convinced the Bowl's over-hyped commercials will suck? Strike preemptively at the SJS screening of three homemade ad spots, one featuring a man bathing in fried chicken while mariachis serenade him. More importantly: everyone named Joel drinks for free. And everyone not named Joel gets a "Joel" nametag and still drinks for free. If for some reason a doorman denies you, tell him you're friends with Joel.
Joel out the flyer