Whoever said there ain't no cure for the summertime blues obviously didn't have access to the mind cooking awesomeness from all around Thrillist Nation, or Capri Sun.
Emailed to Atlanta:Pro Sports Look
Filling a cavernous void in every man's life, ATL-based PSL turns photos of you stumbling around playing fields hungover into dramatic, visually enhanced Fleer-Ultra-looking posters, created by a guy who was an official artist for the '96 Olympics, and a 7-time sprint champ/3-time all-conference wide receiver at Washington University -- you're laughing cause they're D-III, but he's better than you at everything.
Let them make you look good, cause lord knows you can't
Emailed to Nation: Animals With Casts
In this recently conceived, self-explanatory blog, you'll find everything from a wrinkly mutt with his hind legs supported by a homemade PVC pipe wheelchair, to an elephant with an enormous leg cast, to a turtle with two wheels attached to its shell, to a baby kangaroo with its hind legs wrapped up, who's rooing the day Anthony Anderson fell on him.
Cast your eyes on the poor but hilarious creatures on the mend
Emailed to Boston: Nintendo Controller Soap
Complete your shower using one of these original NES controller replica soap bars from local soapmaker Dirty *ss Soaps; bars are the exact size of the real thing, weigh 4.6oz, and are made of shea butter with a "Mountain Dew" fragrance, which you were previously only allowed to consume on weekends, when the babysitter let you rent Ninja Gaiden, so she could French with her boyfriend Ted.
Relive your great Tecmo Bowl accomplishments, shower style
Emailed to Los Angeles: Kvtters
This local streetwear brand's just dropped their Summer line, which includes a mess of attention-grabbing tees, one with the brand name in classic Black Flag print being attacked by scissors, another of which's blessed with 80s-neon print over an attacking cobra, and the third of which displays R. Kelly's cornrowed visage proclaiming, "Man, Kutters Be Pissin' on These Fools" -- so, stay out of the streetwear game, creative 14-year-old girls!
Get some tees, or R. Kelly's hittin' you next
Emailed to New York: Molly Crabapple's Sex Novel
Renowned for her drawing-naked-ladies-while-drinking salons, Molly Crabapple's Gilded Age graphic novel follows the mostly-nude adventures of Scarlett, a wily, LES-born strumpet who, orphaned after her mother is trampled by two lascivious circus elephants, becomes a fire-breathing vaudeville performer who takes on corrupt, fight-fixing politicians by having stamina-sapping sex with both boxers before the bout. (So I guess you could say she got their box off! Jesus.)
We know you hate reading, but check out the pictures!