FireSky Resort & Spa
Ah spring, the time of year when a Chicago baseball fan can feel optimistic about their chances for the upcoming year, before the season comes to a miserable, excruciating end, sometime in early June. Warming you in the glow of optimism (plus, actual warmth), Scottsdale's FireSky Resort & Spa.
Situated conveniently between the Cubs and Sox respective spring training haunts, the FireSky is a meticulously maintained 204-room respite from Chi's suspect March/April weather, with a cabana/hot tub/fire pit surrounded sandy beach pool that has a Mediterranean-style lagoon, but still no Blue one featuring a nubile, topless Brooke Shields. Baseball fans can choose a trek out to whatever Cactus League game strikes their fancy and the FireSky will hook them up with a gratis bucket of ball game-appropriate snacks (sunflower seeds, peanuts, Cracker Jacks, etc) as well as a bucket of brews, and for those interested in following with more rounds of brews they can arrange a lift in a sedan or limo (just 'cause the Cubs don't need a designated hitter doesn't mean you shouldn't have a designated driver). When watching other dudes play sports gets old, they'll set you up with a round of golf, furnishing you with a free lift to and from the course (in case there're more beers in store) and also a complimentary sleeve of balls that's probably just trying to get into your pants.
Because you're likely to get tired of whoever you're traveling with, they've got a daily hosted wine hour for perusing/judging others at the resort, or venture just outside the confines for a hoppin' stretch of bars within walking distance, where you can feel optimistic about things until your pickup attempts come to a miserable, excruciating end, sometime around 11.