Neil Young once sang of the needle and the damage done, but your grandma has to be pretty bad at embroidery to leave you physically scarred. Using the power of the needle for good: Bombastitch

From a Chi gal with a persistent need to needle, Bombastich is a cavalcade of eclectic embroidery touching on everything from TV/film, to video games, to assorted juvenile sayings, so..."back that azz up"? Pop cultural references include a black and white portrait of the gloriously mulleted Kenny Powers, a rendering of the four stones from The Fifth Element, and a colorful reproduction of the Silence of the Lambs moth, appropriate, as Buffalo Bill was a bit of a sewing hobbyist himself. Further needleness includes old-time video games ("It's On Like Donkey Kong"), plus other sayings including a rooster-fronted "guess what chicken butt" to a group of squirrels hanging around "Deez Nuts", which, like you they hide through the winter

For those who like to do things the hard way/are cheap, most works're also avail in a DIY kit that's foolproof, unless you're Grandma Young, who despite her shortcomings still had a "Heart of Gold".