Lifestyle

The Hope Chest

Old people are always waxing nostalgic about how great things used to be, from the inexpensive groceries and the invigorating uphill walks to the people totally not throwing acid in each other's faces. But turns out they lied about that last thing! Uncovering old ass nefariousness, The Hope Chest.Started by a Chicago writer who found himself constantly distracted by "human interest" stories combing through old microfilm while researching a book , THC (named for the site's first post in which a woman found her missing sister's dismembered body in a...hope chest) promises "Bad news from the past" and delivers twisted gems from the late-nineteenth and early-twentieth centuries that make today's headlines seem effete. Some particularly off-putting nuggets:Acid Attack: A 28-year-old woman, "enraged because a former sweetheart married another woman", heads over to the house when the husband is at work, calls the other woman to the front door and blinds her with some muriatic acid. Other posts indicate that such attacks were apparently all the rage back in the day, a testament to just how far science scores have dropped. Eccentric Killer: A Muskegon, Michigan man described as "eccentric" gets picked up for killing a female companion while the two were skiing, shooting her four times before dismembering her with an axe and burying her in a shallow grave. His explanation? "I killed her because I loved her". As the author notes: "I've actually vacationed in Muskegon, Michigan, they have lovely beaches there". Creepy French (or German?!) Dudes: Twenty-four French schoolchildren had to be hospitalized with a strange ailment after falling victim to men in black gloves who would "pretend to fondle the youngsters and then pierce the skin of the neck or arms" with needles. The authorities suspected it was "degenerates" while the parents suspected German spies, finally leaking the sensitive secret that children get sick when poked with needles back to the Fatherland. Not everything on the site is "bad news", per se, like a 1931 article in which a prison doctor experimenting on convicts "scientifically" proved that drinking coffee right before bed makes you sleep better, which in turn will make you wax nostalgic for the days when nothing made any sense.