You've strolled the art museum. You've caught a play. You've even attended a symphony, though it was in the park. You've at least paid homage to every form of artistry out there. So why are you disrespecting contemporary dance, motherf***er?!!!! Rectify that, and check out Hubbard Street Dance Chicago's June run.
An internationally respected titan of contemporary dance since 1974, HSDC presents visionary original works to over 100,000 people annually -- and with your help, they'd very much like to make it over 100,001, or even 100,002 if your friend Sheila's like, not doing anything, and, um, does she maybe want to go to this dance thing? This summer's offerings include the world premiere of the frenetic mating-ritual meditation "Slipstream", and the awesomely named Nacho Duato's "Gnawa", a passionate exploration of primitive worship, which was apparently quite a bit sexier than watching televangelist Joel Osteen in your BVDs. Then there's "Extremely Close", which begins with a blinding, feathery snowfall, then builds to a chaotic climax; architectural panels constructed by IIT provide shadowy cover for the flitting performers -- fortunately, this isn't Stephen King's IIT, so there aren't any murderous clowns hiding in there.
Your best opportunity to see HSDC is June 4-7 at the Harris Theater in Millennium Park. Use the code THRILL at hubbardstreetdance.com, and get two Premium Seats for just $100 -- a $72 savings that should help you quit disrespecting HSDC, motherf***er.