Hard rock and hard time in Ukrainian Village

Prisons always seem like so much fun in the movies, whether it's the witty chess matches between Red and Andy or the titillating shower parties in American History X... that was some chess! Living it up, incarceration style, Lockdown Bar & Grill.

Opening tonight, Lockdown's a compact, steel caged, prison-themed temple to hard rock outfitted with metal bars, smoke machines, skulls, and wall-to-wall flatscreens billing itself as a "virtual venue" where you can get that concert-style energy without drawbacks like cover charges and drummers going home with your girlfriend. For sustenance, the cleverly-named menu kicks off with apps like the "El Paso Prison" (blue corn smoked pork quesadillas with mustard pickles), the "Prison Shank", aka marinated steak skewers, and a pile of hand-cut fries drowned in a homemade four-cheese white sauce, and BBQ pork called "Barb'd Wire", which you enjoyed almost as much as Snapdragon, mostly because you were alone. Mains are heavily skewed toward 10oz Angus burgers like "Cruelty to Animals" (applewood bacon, crispy pancetta, prosciutto, BBQ pork), the "Ponzi Scheme", topped with caramelized apple/pear chutney, toasted walnuts, and gouda, and the tempura plantain/jalapeno jack/habanero mayo topped "Ganja" that's been jerk-rubbed, also the name of Steve Martin's failed chain of massage parlors.

Sauce-wise the full bar's offering six beers on tap (Guinness, Fat Tire, Goose Island Seasonal) and a boozed-up punch concoction called "Prune", an homage to the toilet bowl hooch they make in prison -- see?? Drinking out of toilets -- check and mate!