Food & Drink

Nella Pizzeria Napoletana

Knowledge passed from generation to generation is a good thing, unlike that third nipple, which just creeps everyone out. Serving you generations of time-tested pizza skills, Nella Pizzeria Napoletana

Opening next Friday and chef'd by a fourth-generation Italy-born pizzaiola who's been holding down the oven since she was 13, NPN is a sparkling temple of 'za decked with huge black and white portraits of dough being made, framed Italian soccer jerseys, and rows of glass-encased foosball players, all centered around a massive pizza oven hand built from 12,000 lbs of brick hauled from Mt. Vesuvius to ensure explosive flavor, and less hilariously that the pizza gets cooked. Pizzas are topped with fresh mozzarella imported weekly from Italy to enhance pies like the Diavola with spicy salami and red pepper, the Tonne e Cipolla (black olives, onion, basil, and tuna), and the Mare e Monti topped with porcini mushrooms and baby shrimp, which react a lot better to de-veining if you use Desitin. They also have some of the more standard suspects (Quattro Formaggi, Quattro Stagioni, Margherita), along with calzones like the Napoli (salami, ricotta, black pepper, basil), and the Farcito with mushrooms, prosciutto cotto, and artichoke hearts, the only thing the Tin Man needed in the Wizard of Oz (Vegan Edition).

While you're waiting for your pizza, they're doing starters like fresh salmon marinated in white balsamic, olive oil, garlic and capers; prosciutto served with arugula, olive oil, and shaved Parmesan, and Melanzane -- eggplant topped with marinara, basil, and olive oil, whose creepy third nipple was the real reason Popeye was always worked up.