They say good help is hard to find, but finding help that makes you good and hard is almost impossible. Remedying that, Penthouse Maids.
Started by a displaced Floridian who felt the gentlemen of Chicagoland needed a more intimate housekeeping experience, newly-launched PM'll discreetly dispatch a scantily clad cleaning professional to sexily spruce up your apartment, though any pipe cleaning will sadly still be the purview of plumbers. Your maid will arrive in casual dress before changing into the minimalist garb of your choice -- bikini, lingerie, maid outfit, or possibly less than that if you'd like to pay extra -- before engaging in standard light cleaning tasks like dusting, taking out the trash, and changing sheets, which many fantasy owners already have done themselves thanks to his ballooning WHIP. Of course your pad's already spotless, but thankfully they offer the same arrangement for office assistants, who can help out with tasks like filing, faxing, grabbing coffee or tea, answering phone calls, and naughtily stuff envelopes with your resume because, hey, your office assistant's wearing a bikini, lingerie, maid outfit, or possibly less than that if you were willing to pay extra.
If all the cleaning and office work gets old, you can also arrange for a dance more reminiscent of your usual interactions with topless women, who if they're any good will almost certainly find you hard.