The Stadium Seat Store

Inside connections pay dividends: if not, then how do you think George W got to be owner of the Texas Rangers, or you magically got off the wait-list at magic camp? Milking some inside sports hookups to steez up your crib, The Stadium Seat Store.

Run by a contractor who's long worked on the inside of Wrigley Field, TSSS has accumulated an array of stadium-related goodies over the years and stashed them away in a space that serves the dual role of warehouse for all the memorabilia, and the offices for the contracting company, sort of like if your workplace and grandfather's attic suddenly merged into one place, just without the empty cases of Baron's Boothill sarsaparilla. Most noteworthy in the collection are the dark green, paint-chipped chairs that've been removed from Wrigley as they've gradually upgraded the seats, with each having been inspected and assigned a certificate of authenticity, as have various seatbacks, bricks, and brick fragments, so you can be sure your memento truly witnessed ... horrible disappointment and unspeakable suffering. Not leaving the South Side hanging, they've also accumulated a stockpile of seats from The Cell, including both the blue era, which actually witnessed a World Series, and the more recent green incarnation with seatbacks that provide a more retro feel, like your creepy, old swim coach.

Inquire within about special items like seats dating all the way back to 1914 and ones that've been autographed by such sports icons as Fergie Jenkins, Gale Sayers, and Hank Aaron, whose 33-year run as home run king was only victimized when Barry Bonds got into a different kind of magic camp.