People always claim to have the craziest landlord, but usually they're just weirded out because the dude has two cats. Meet the one guy who's not kidding at Stranger Than Eviction.
The meticulously chronicled saga of one tenant, Gabe, and his experiences renting a room in St. Charles from Gary, "a 63 year old, currently unemployed, overweight, homeowner who enjoys a frequent alcoholic beverage and cigarette", STE documents Gabe's progression from happy tenant to evicted man on a mission to recoup his security deposit, all through a series of recollections, emails, notes, and harassing voicemails starring the colorful, profane, and oft-arrested Gary. A sampling:
Gary, on auto maintenance (via email) GD: YOUR CAR IS STILL LEAKING OIL LIKE A SIEVE.... GET IT FIXED NOW.... STRONG LETTER TO FOLLOW.
Strong letter that followed: get your oil leak fixed NOW......MORON
On higher education: are u a tuft's graduate... i doubt it....coward...... You typed "I (GOT) your voicemail from last night." Did u take english @ Brebeuf????????????
On family relations: THERE A GREAT DEAL YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME, BOY..... THERE A GREAT DEAL YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOUR FATHER, BOY..... GO FOCK YOURSELF, YOU LYING INDIANA COWARD... THE HOLY CROSS BROTHERS DRILLED GRAMMAR INTO OUR BRAINS @ CATHEDRAL HS.....
On legal formalities:
Gary: READ ME MY MIRANDA RIGHTS!
Police: Gary, we're not arresting you, we just need to talk.
Gary: READ ME MY MIRANDA RIGHTS! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE MIRANDA RIGHTS!
Police: (laughing) yea Gary, we know the Miranda rights.
Gary: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO MY LAWYER IS?
Police: No Gary.
Gary: Frankie T.
Gabe has yet to recover his security deposit to date, but in the meantime the blog has numerous other entertaining episodes, plot points, and commentaries that enhance the richness of this delicately textured epic, including a crystal clear audio recording of an insanely NSFW voicemail left on Gabe's cell phone that carries the sounds of true madness, the kind of madness that might lead one into buying a THIRD cat.