From groveling for sex, to checking directory listings for special massage parlors shortly afterward, you already accomplish your most sensitive tasks via text messaging, so why not add personal finance to the list? Track your expenses on the go, with TextHog.com.
Based in Chi, Hog's a free, stupid-simple site that lets you submit and categorize personal expenditures via text/email right after a purchase, before you forget that $8.54 was spent on an enchilada plate w/ large horchata. Sign up, and you'll receive a unique email address, to which you can text or email dollar-amount, general category (gas, food/dining, bills/utilities, etc) and, optionally, any further identifying notes -- because what good's "bar tab" if you can't isolate how much it cost before the Love Tester proclaimed you a man? Set up daily/weekly/monthly budgets for specific expenditures (lattes, digital music, whatever), and overages will pop up in red; or check out category specific graphs and pie charts, incontrovertible evidence as to just how out of control your pie-buying has become.
At any point, you can log in to clean up any notes submitted by text. Plus, for big-ticket payments (car, credit cards, rent...), you can set e-mail/text reminders -- as with your previous texting endeavors, these'll solidify the lesson that you've gotta pay for it.