Turtle Huntin'

Sometimes city life gets you down; whether it's the boss on your case, or a girlfriend trying to put a ring on your finger. Well lose that finger, huntin' turtles with Bohman and Miller.

Started by "veteran turtle hunters" in Batesville, Indiana (about an hour past Indy), TH offers a guided glimpse into the ancient art of turtle hunting, a.k.a wading upstream through small rivers or creeks and exploring all nooks and crannies to see if you can snag everything from the feistiest snapper to the meekest soft shell with your bare hands, like an Easter egg hunt if the eggs hated you. A typical hunt can last anywhere from a couple of hours to a full eight-hour day and consists of the pros first teaching you some proper turtlin' etiquette and style ("Don't you know? All turtle hunters wear boonie hats."), then taking you to one of their favorite creeks to probe washed-out banks, sunken tree roots, log jams, and brush piles hoping for that nerve-wracking moment when "your fingers hit shell (or leg or tail or head)", and you realize you're capable of anything, as long as professionals tell you exactly how to do it. With said turtle located, you then keep it pinned to the ground until its positioning is determined, at which time you find safe grips, yank it out of the muck (they don't always go willingly, this can take a team effort), and it's given a new home in the "turtle bag", which Donatello was always careful to protect in combat.

Once the turtles are rounded up your guides can release them, make them into a tasty soup, or, for the real animal lovers in the house, kill and clean them for you, so even as you bustle around the house making a delish pan of blondies, a remembrance of your swingin' single days is only a glance above the mantle away.