Drinks: The Margarita Man
Rather than playing blender jockey, ask Margarita Man to deliver a self-mixing machine, which blends any of their 18 different flavors -- like at your Bar Mitzvah, all you do is add jugs of tequila.
Click to see the flavors
Food: El Cholo
Since 1923, El Cholo's been serving up traditional Mexican food to famished gringos -- and this year, they come to you. $195 gets you 20 people worth of tacos, cheese enchiladas, beans, and Caesar salad -- which will be rent unto you by default when no one bothers eating the greens.
Click for the lowdown
Bashing: Ya Otta Piñata
Options range from traditional bull piñatas to "the peace mobile," a peace-sign-emblazoned Volkswagen bug guaranteed to whet your appetite for a Seis de Mayo hippie-beating fiesta.
Click to see the piñatas
Throwing your own party doesn't mean you need to forego traditional Mexican entertainment: use this one-stop directory to find the mariachi band with your desired ratio of laughably tiny guitars to fat-man moustaches. Webmaster/mariachi maven Dan Sobrino vets each band to assure quality, and that none of their instruments are actually rocket launchers.
Click to browse bands