College Week

Like most things in life, your experience with college food depends on your perspective: maybe you thought of it as a fever dream of amazing buffets, cookie cake towers, and meat-carving stations… or maybe it was a repetitive heap of glorified elementary-school cafeteria lunches.

College is a time for experimentation, cheap liquor, and trying new things… like sex in totally random places or with the absolute wrong people.

As the wise Asher Roth once said: man, I love college.

College-town bouncers have seen some shit, man: more than proctologists.

Going to school in a legitimate city is a completely different experience than going in a college town.

I kicked off my college career as any young co-ed newly freed from parental supervision does: by drinking far too much alcohol multiple times a week, partying with other young-adult amateurs, and having copious amounts of S-E-X.

Delish whipped up the coolest party trick in town.

Going off to college can be both a scary and exciting time, but don't worry, Casually Explained put together this guide for you incoming freshmeat -- I mean freshmen -- to help navigate the glass case of emotion that is college.

One day many, many, years from now, I'll tell my grandkids, Zap, Pop, and Chrome (in the future, names will be extremely futuristic), "Back in my day, I had to walk 1km up a hill covered in white, condensed water" (in the future, snow will not exist due to global warming and lack of bees, and we will have switched to the metric system) "just to play flip cup with my best buddies during my college years."

For most people, college is a time of transformation.

For the overwhelming majority of college students, the most amazing beer near campus is whatever you can get for a $3 door charge at some dudes’ house down the street.

Congrats on your acceptance to Insert Here University!