If there's one thing McGruff the Crime Dog taught us, it's that you can totally wear a trench coat with nothing under it. If there are two things though, it's the trench thing, and that crime doesn't pay. Especially if you're doing it at a Chicago restaurant. Here are five idiotic criminals who tried to eff with Chicago restaurants and almost all lost spectacularly, including that dude who literally just got karate-chopped by Jason Chan at Juno.
The Scene: Juno in Lincoln Park, November 7th
The Crime: Stealing from a restaurant owned by a karate master
When a guy in a distinctive striped sweater nabbed a customer’s iPhone at Juno’s bar and took off, owner Jason Chan deployed some good, old-fashioned street justice. Chan, an ex-bouncer and Shidokan black belt, jumped in his car and spotted the thief at a nearby Lou Malnati’s. The thief tried to take a swing, and Chan used his Shidokan powers to subdue the thief with an armbar, holding him down until police arrived.
Proposed Punishment: Three years on hold waiting for AppleCare customer service.