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The intrusion of Orwellian databases can be terrifying -- unless you're the Orwell. Invade everyone's privacy, with CriminalSearches.

Shiny-new CS is a robust trove o' criminalia, loaded with detailed histories of offenders across the nation, all compiled by the cagey snoops at PeopleFinders -- ironically, the guys who, by selling you the address, marriage records, and possible aliases of that worthless evil tramp, planted the seeds for your very own criminality. You can search their Criminal History Check by name and get the dish on the whole range of a given person's offenses: drugs & alcohol, sex, violent, theft, traffic, behavioral, and business (what, like it's not cool to embezzle these days?). Or, pop in any address to search locally on their Neighborhood Watch, and get a GMap peppered with offense-type symbols plotted at each culprit's last known residence; click for name and details, including previous addresses and offense dates, and just hope that dude around the corner who committed manslaughter in '35 has been softened by a steady diet of Clozapine and senility.

Because CS's access isn't complete, there may be data missing, and they also state that "some states include minor traffic offenses in the data that we receive; however, these people might not be actual criminals". Despite this disclaimer, there's no denying your running a red light has landed you in the terrifying position of being on

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