JailHouseFire Hot Sauce

Jail is actually good for some things: you can finally get through "War And Peace", there's plenty of time to work out, and you get laid like a freakin' brick. Putting "making delicious hot sauces" on that list, JailHouseFire.

Put-it-all-out-there-named JHF started when inmates in the horticultural program at the Falkenburg Rd Jail near Tampa decided to take peppers they were growing and use them "to make our crappy prison food better"; months of tinkering and testing on convicts resulted in a perfected hot sauce recipe that the program instructor took to a packaging plant for production and bottling, creating a product that could raise some money, and making jailhouse courtesy flushing a, y'know, heated topic. JHF's three flavors boldly start with "Original", a Barbados-style (mustard-based) sauce perfected after trying 350 varieties of peppers grown in the big house yard; they settled on chocolate Scotch bonnets, true Jamaican Scotch bonnets, red habaneros, Datils, and tabascos, as well as jail-grown Meyer lemons, mangoes, basil, and willingness to inflict pain. The other two're "Smoke", which takes the original recipe and makes a chipotle out of it (meaning they first smoke the jalapeño, habaneros, and Scotch bonnets, for a highly layered, smoky effect), and "No Escape", which alters the original's ratio of water, vinegar, and mash (lethally hot ground up peppers) for the hottest sauce the inmates have ever concocted -- luckily, they've proven they have no issues selling stuff that's hot.

Proceeds go to help inmate programs in Hillsborough County; to get punished by the stuff you can send a personal check or money order to the very trustworthy Inmate Canteen Fund on the website, or if you're up Tampa-way, pull up to the jail and hand over the cash, and get back that dog-eared copy of Tolstoy from your mammoth-trap'd bunkmate who never called.